Drive shaft support bearing has failed...

"… Shortly to become land blubber newsmen, for the blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds."

The world needed a hero. An embassy, under siege. Hostages at risk. The pressure was on.

“We need the best,” the general barked. “Someone who can handle this.”

They looked at his file: Top scores in all combat situations. Unmatched tactical awareness. He’d broken every record. “The Shepherd,” they called him.

He was cocky, sure. Talked a big game. But the numbers didn’t lie. He’d aced every difficult task. They’d asked him, “Are you ready soldier?”

He’d smirked. “Born ready.”

The news cameras rolled as he approached the embassy. The Shepherd, our savior. He walked with confidence, a seasoned warrior.

He took a step.

A trip.

A gun shot.

He died.

They later found out, that The Shepherd spent his life in his basement mastering virtual reality games and shooting his digital gun.

©Mad

A strange virus has penetrated the earth and was spreading. No one knew what it was or what the cure was.

Officials have been looking all over for the right candidate to give some answers to this madness. Sad to say that among TikTokers and the OnlyFans generation, they failed to find anything close to that. They failed to even begin questioning their ability as «they/them» keep getting offended with every single question they were asked. They stopped asking women altogether as they keep saying, «We're independent and don't need no man,» even though nobody was asking that. Every diploma was just a bought paper. The majority failed to answer 2+2x2.

But with the last of a hope, however, they did find a perfect candidate who knew how to create life-saving vaccines. He was a retired 75-year-old scientist. The last chance humanity will ever have.

With every chance he got, he promised that he had found a cure, a vaccine with H2O, a capsule with sugar powder, a pill that was a Mentos candy.

That man was a troll...

Just hear it CEO, Owner, The founder of… Heavy sound to it, isn't it?

We all seen the movies when we were little, when a guy tells a girl he's a CEO of whatever. Wow! Success. We want to be that.

Now days it's simple. Create a domain name and some frontend. That's it. You are now the CEO, Owner, The founder of… Who is going to check? A girl at the bar? She never went further than the twitter comments section. Never fact check anything. No need, she heard a key word, «CEO». Heard of google? Yes, well, similar to that. Why your shoes got holes? Well, I got «Steve Jobs style» attitude. And now in her head she is a wife of «Successful, google like, CEO». Blah blah fucking blah.

And in the morning, just tell her that you have no income at all. Technically, you didn't lie at all. The word «CEO» was enough for her mind to create your Successful business model on her own.

©Mad