1. Peace of Mind. No one is trying to drive me crazy, and there’s no need to constantly «sort out our relationship.» I don't have to wonder if my partner is still faithful to me—or where she actually went when she said she was just visiting a girlfriend.
2. No Compromises. I live how I want, where I want, and do what I want. I don't have to constantly adjust to another person or try to find a middle ground between «I want to sleep in» and «go dig up the mother-in-law's garden.»
3. My Own Living Space. I don't have to live in daily fear that if my woman suddenly decides to file for divorce tomorrow, I'll be left without a roof over my head—standing outside with nothing but a toothbrush.
4. Sexual Freedom. I’m not terrified of waking up one day next to a 40-year-old woman with cellulite, only to realize that I stopped wanting to perform my «marital duties» toward her ages ago. I don't have to force myself to fulfill those duties, nor do I have to restrict myself from being with other women. If I want to, I sleep with someone; if I want to, I abstain—especially when it comes to those who are «slightly over 30.»
5. No Crushing Mortgage Debt. Buying a studio apartment or a small country cottage for myself is much faster—and can often be done with cash—compared to taking out a mortgage on a three-room apartment for a whole family, or a massive country estate, and then slaving away at two jobs for 20 years just to pay for it.
6. Plenty of Money. After every paycheck, I still have a lot of surplus cash left over, simply because a single man doesn't actually need very much to get by. I can save it, invest it, or buy myself almost anything my heart desires. *For myself*, specifically—rather than wearing the same pair of pants for ten years while working two jobs, all for *her* sake.
7. Just One Job. Yes, yes—for a bachelor, one job is plenty; there’s no need to get by on four hours of sleep a night, only to drop dead at fifty after working two jobs simultaneously just to «feed the pig.» Or a family… which is the correct way to put it?
8. No children. No crying, no clutter, and no shit in the house. Or, alternatively, no child support payments—which effectively replace all that—draining your income for nearly two decades of your life. Though, in fairness, it’s worth noting that nowadays you don’t really get a choice: 80% of marriages end in divorce, and that automatically means child support.
9. Comfortable sleep. Sleeping alone is a hundred times more comfortable than sleeping with someone else. No one tosses and turns, gets in your way, snores, nudges you, or hogs the covers; nor does anyone wake you up with noise in the morning by getting up earlier than you do. As a result, you get a much better night's sleep.
10. Impossible to turn into a fat slob. You can buy just enough food for yourself to last until the next day—and generally keep yourself in shape. Women, on the other hand, have a habit of stuffing the fridge to the brim with all sorts of crap, getting fat themselves, and simultaneously fattening up their husbands so they won't run off with another woman or catch anyone else's eye.
11. Impeccable order. After all, it is the woman herself who creates the trash and the mess. Well, and the children, too. But if neither she nor they are around, there’s no one left to make a mess. And cleaning up the minor clutter you create yourself takes no more than 15 minutes.
12. Higher earnings. I can easily move around the country—or even the world—in search of better-paying work. I simply pack a suitcase and head off to a new location. With a family, this is impossible: she has her «mom» to consider, the child has a «preschool» they waited two years to get into, and so on. As life has repeatedly shown, a man who attempts to combine having a family with earning a high income through rotational or remote work arrangements ends up getting nothing but a pair of cuckold's horns.
13. Health. Peace of mind, sound sleep, no need to skimp on your own nutrition, no need to drink heavily to cope with stress in your personal life, and so on—all of these factors have an exclusively beneficial effect on your physical health, and, as a direct consequence, on your overall level of happiness in life. Married men, on the other hand, often don't even live long enough to reach retirement age, frequently suffering heart attacks as early as 45.
14. Hobbies. You have an abundance of time for hobbies and personal interests—time that, for married men, gets consumed by working two jobs, handling household chores, fulfilling obligations to their wives, and so on and so forth. In my view, life is truly measured by the opportunity to pursue what genuinely interests you, rather than merely doing what you «have to» do.
15. Financial Freedom. Over the long term, an unmarried man has the potential to achieve financial freedom—that is, to stop going to work entirely, long before reaching the official retirement age. First, because a single man simply doesn't need a vast amount of money; and second, because he can generate income from investments made during his youth—investments that, had he been married, might otherwise have been squandered on women—or by renting out an apartment that a wife could have potentially claimed in a divorce settlement.
Let’s be honest—standard emojis are a bit… boring. They look different on every phone, they’re static, and they just don’t have that classic energy we love here at MadWay.
We decided it was time to stop being «standard» and start being legendary. Whether you’re feeling like a dancing fool, a literal «facepalm,» or you just want to send some «yahoo» energy into the world, we’ve got the perfect GIF for the job.

How to Use:
You don’t need to be a wizard to use them. While you're writing your masterpiece, just highlight any text and click the
icon in the toolbar. Pick your favorite animation, and boom—instant personality.
Unfortunately we had to reduce the size of uploaded images to 100kb, due to lack of hosting space. Maybe it will change in the future 
In our village next door there is an empty house. Previously, a family lived there, the old people died, and the children moved away. Periodically, the youngest son of the deceased owners of the house came there with his girlfriend. As it turned out later, it was not one girl, but different ones, there were 3 of them in total. He brought them, then killed them, raped the corpses, and then buried them in the garden. When he was detained, there was an uproar throughout the village. The point is that it didn’t work out for him with living girls, so he decided to try sex with a corpse, and it worked. 1993
He was jailed for life.
I saw a seller jerking off to a tomato at the market… I came around the corner, the man did not immediately notice me, and when I arrived, he immediately threw the tomato back to the others. And then someone buys it… Since then I don’t go there at all and wash all the fruits, vegetables, berries that don’t even need to be washed with soap.
I work in an ambulance and it’s hard to surprise me. But this spring, a corpse was examined in a forest belt; the girl, apparently, was a suicide or mentally ill. At the end of February she left home, in April she thawed out in the forest, dressed in a light dress, sneakers and a Panama hat, with a sketchbook, several pencils and pens. The album contains two or three pages of drawings — snowdrifts, bare trees, a snow-covered field with a chain of footprints and a sunset. She went into the forest in winter with almost no clothes and painted snow until she froze to death.
My son (6 years old) walked into the kitchen with a light bulb in his mouth. My husband dropped a large mug of hot coffee on his foot out of laughter, and I jumped up from the loud blow and his scream and crashed my head into the shelf. As a result, the three of us sat in the emergency room: my husband with a suspected broken finger and a burn, me with a suspected concussion, and my son with a light bulb in his mouth. The doctor could barely keep from laughing.
At work, my bosses and employees (a small department, about twelve people) often accuse me of separating myself from the team: I don’t indulge in snacking, I don’t drink tea and coffee with them between breakfast, lunch and dinner, I don’t chip in on tea, cookies and candy. I make excuses for PP and stomach problems — which, in principle, is true. But in fact, there is another reason that I am silent about. I noticed that my boss never washes her hands after using the toilet: I often saw her leaving the stall and walking past me right on the way out while I was washing my hands. And then with these unwashed hands she puts cookies, gingerbreads, waffles and marmalades into a bowl, and everyone else eats it… Ugh...
My husband works at a school — not a teacher, but still. He got there through an acquaintance and somehow gained a foothold and moved up in career. He doesn’t get paid like crazy, pays for our apartment, knows how to do everything a man does around the house, doesn’t demand my money, etc. But I’m ashamed that he works in a woman’s environment. Plus he doesn’t drive and doesn’t want a car — is that a manly thing? I work as an administrator at a car dealership, there are only men here, for whom the car is a priority. Because of this, I feel like my husband is somehow unmanly.
I have ugly breasts. I am young, never had kids. They just grew up like that. I can't look at myself in the mirror. Even at home I wear a bra all day long because hang and it annoys me. When I stayed with the guys at night, at first I didn’t even take it off to sleep. My new boyfriend has never seen my breasts, although we have been together for quite a long time. I'm so tired. I’m saving for an operation, but money is tight right now. From the moment my breasts started growing, there wasn’t a single day when I didn’t feel complex. I know that the guy will accept anyone, but I can’t show him anyway. Because even I hate her myself. In fits of hysteria, thoughts came to cut everything off. So tired of crying over this. I can no longer listen to myself about self-acceptance. There was enough time to accept it. I couldn't.
My boyfriend’s penis is strongly curved in one direction, and it is precisely because of this and, probably, some feature of my anatomy that I do not experience any discomfort and no gag reflexes during a throat blowjob. I think we have found each other!
Men don't watch porn! Honestly, I'm 25+. There have already been a couple of times that I couldn’t finish with the girls. Yes, there was no special feeling or excitement, but the ladies looked very normal. I remember my first sex and my first girls — I could barely hold on with the joy of seeing a naked female body. Dick to the ceiling. Now, because of visual addiction, everything has become worse. Conducted an experiment. A couple of weeks without porn, a minimum of jerking off — everything returned to normal. Now even if it’s on fire, I’m afraid to jerk off!
Other Trash Stories
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