It happened back during my student days.

I was working as an assistant, accompanying a lawyer to court hearings.

The case involved a married couple going through a divorce.

The husband had built a major business and was very well-off.

He was a calm man—clearly a caring one, too. The couple had three children, aged 12, 7, and 3. The husband had read his wife’s correspondence with her lover; he realized he had been cheated on and that the youngest child was not his. A divorce petition followed shortly thereafter.

The husband was willing to pay child support for two of the children, and he pleaded with his wife—doing everything in his power—to keep the proceedings free of scandal.

The wife, however, couldn't help herself. Declaring, «Since you have the audacity to doubt me, we’ll have DNA tests done on *all* the children—just so you can be shamed,» she filed a formal motion for forensic testing.

At the final hearing, the judge stared wide-eyed at the DNA test results, while the now-somewhat-crestfallen wife uttered a memorable line: «Well, I *assumed* the other two were definitely his… so where on earth am I supposed to find *their* fathers now?»

1. Peace of Mind. No one is trying to drive me crazy, and there’s no need to constantly «sort out our relationship.» I don't have to wonder if my partner is still faithful to me—or where she actually went when she said she was just visiting a girlfriend.

2. No Compromises. I live how I want, where I want, and do what I want. I don't have to constantly adjust to another person or try to find a middle ground between «I want to sleep in» and «go dig up the mother-in-law's garden.»

3. My Own Living Space. I don't have to live in daily fear that if my woman suddenly decides to file for divorce tomorrow, I'll be left without a roof over my head—standing outside with nothing but a toothbrush.

4. Sexual Freedom. I’m not terrified of waking up one day next to a 40-year-old woman with cellulite, only to realize that I stopped wanting to perform my «marital duties» toward her ages ago. I don't have to force myself to fulfill those duties, nor do I have to restrict myself from being with other women. If I want to, I sleep with someone; if I want to, I abstain—especially when it comes to those who are «slightly over 30.»

5. No Crushing Mortgage Debt. Buying a studio apartment or a small country cottage for myself is much faster—and can often be done with cash—compared to taking out a mortgage on a three-room apartment for a whole family, or a massive country estate, and then slaving away at two jobs for 20 years just to pay for it.

6. Plenty of Money. After every paycheck, I still have a lot of surplus cash left over, simply because a single man doesn't actually need very much to get by. I can save it, invest it, or buy myself almost anything my heart desires. *For myself*, specifically—rather than wearing the same pair of pants for ten years while working two jobs, all for *her* sake.

7. Just One Job. Yes, yes—for a bachelor, one job is plenty; there’s no need to get by on four hours of sleep a night, only to drop dead at fifty after working two jobs simultaneously just to «feed the pig.» Or a family… which is the correct way to put it?

8. No children. No crying, no clutter, and no shit in the house. Or, alternatively, no child support payments—which effectively replace all that—draining your income for nearly two decades of your life. Though, in fairness, it’s worth noting that nowadays you don’t really get a choice: 80% of marriages end in divorce, and that automatically means child support.

9. Comfortable sleep. Sleeping alone is a hundred times more comfortable than sleeping with someone else. No one tosses and turns, gets in your way, snores, nudges you, or hogs the covers; nor does anyone wake you up with noise in the morning by getting up earlier than you do. As a result, you get a much better night's sleep.

10. Impossible to turn into a fat slob. You can buy just enough food for yourself to last until the next day—and generally keep yourself in shape. Women, on the other hand, have a habit of stuffing the fridge to the brim with all sorts of crap, getting fat themselves, and simultaneously fattening up their husbands so they won't run off with another woman or catch anyone else's eye.

11. Impeccable order. After all, it is the woman herself who creates the trash and the mess. Well, and the children, too. But if neither she nor they are around, there’s no one left to make a mess. And cleaning up the minor clutter you create yourself takes no more than 15 minutes.

12. Higher earnings. I can easily move around the country—or even the world—in search of better-paying work. I simply pack a suitcase and head off to a new location. With a family, this is impossible: she has her «mom» to consider, the child has a «preschool» they waited two years to get into, and so on. As life has repeatedly shown, a man who attempts to combine having a family with earning a high income through rotational or remote work arrangements ends up getting nothing but a pair of cuckold's horns.

13. Health. Peace of mind, sound sleep, no need to skimp on your own nutrition, no need to drink heavily to cope with stress in your personal life, and so on—all of these factors have an exclusively beneficial effect on your physical health, and, as a direct consequence, on your overall level of happiness in life. Married men, on the other hand, often don't even live long enough to reach retirement age, frequently suffering heart attacks as early as 45.

14. Hobbies. You have an abundance of time for hobbies and personal interests—time that, for married men, gets consumed by working two jobs, handling household chores, fulfilling obligations to their wives, and so on and so forth. In my view, life is truly measured by the opportunity to pursue what genuinely interests you, rather than merely doing what you «have to» do.

15. Financial Freedom. Over the long term, an unmarried man has the potential to achieve financial freedom—that is, to stop going to work entirely, long before reaching the official retirement age. First, because a single man simply doesn't need a vast amount of money; and second, because he can generate income from investments made during his youth—investments that, had he been married, might otherwise have been squandered on women—or by renting out an apartment that a wife could have potentially claimed in a divorce settlement.

Let’s be honest—standard emojis are a bit… boring. They look different on every phone, they’re static, and they just don’t have that classic energy we love here at MadWay.

We decided it was time to stop being «standard» and start being legendary. Whether you’re feeling like a dancing fool, a literal «facepalm,» or you just want to send some «yahoo» energy into the world, we’ve got the perfect GIF for the job.

How to Use:

You don’t need to be a wizard to use them. While you're writing your masterpiece, just highlight any text and click the  icon in the toolbar. Pick your favorite animation, and boom—instant personality.

Unfortunately we had to reduce the size of uploaded images to 100kb, due to lack of hosting space. Maybe it will change in the future