Google Drive Direct Link Generator

This tool allows you to generate a direct download link to files you have stored in Google Drive. A direct link will immediately start downloading the file, rather than opening a preview of the file in Google Drive.

https://sites.google.com/site/gdocs2direct/

Apologetic Nationals Fan

Original ad:
I am trying to get 2 tickets to the Nationals vs. Red Sox on Thursday, June 25th. I'm willing to pay up to $40.


From Mike Partlow to **********@**********.org

Hello, I do not have tickets to the Nationals, but I do have a video tape of my 7-year-old's little league team game last week. He plays for the Arby's Allstars, and they beat the Smith Hardware Little Leaguers. I am sure it will be way more entertaining than watching the Nationals get their ass whooped for the 49th time this season.

From austin ******* to Me

Fuck yourself, asshole.

From Mike Partlow to austin *******

Austin, my 7-year-old son was on the computer and he read your very offensive e-mail. Now he is going around telling everyone to "fuck themselves." Me and my wife tried to raise him to be a kid who doesn't curse, but thanks to your profanity, he thinks it is okay. I demand an apology from you.

From austin ******* to Me

You want my apology? Go fuck yourself.

From Mike Partlow to austin *******

I did have the tickets; I was just messing around with you. They were good seats - 10 rows back from third base. I was going to sell them both for $30. I would rather burn them, however, if you don't apologize. If you do apologize, the tickets will be yours.

From Mike Partlow to austin *******

I'm waiting...

From austin ******* to Me

I'm sorry about your kid.

From Mike Partlow to austin *******

Hah, what a sucker. I made you look like little bitch in front of my 7-year-old son. I don't actually have any tickets. Thanks for helping me teach my son a lesson about how not to keep your dignity.

Mike

The Real Aikido

There is no more True Aikido left out there. In this day and age, what they call Aikido is when two morons try to kick each other in the jaw and break each other’s joints. Or whatever else they do these days; never seen it anyway.

The True Aikido was completely different. It required that you defeat your Enemy without using needless effort. In fact, you didn’t even have come face to face with your Enemy.

Say, for example, your Enemy is approaching you with an axe in order to chop the fuck out of you. But you live in such a dump that on his way there he slipps on a pile of shit and falls into it face down, two times in a row. He gets so frustrated that he chops off his own finger. So who wins? You win! Perhaps you will not even know about the victory, which is victory in it’s best form.

Or else, for example, the Enemy decided to curse you out or harass you in different ways. But your cell phone is turned off for non-payment and you don’t answer the door anymore because some salesmen were bothering you. So the Enemy gets tired of ringing your doorbell and banging on your door, and bites his hand all the way through out of frustration. Here, you win again.

Another example: say you had no other choice but to come out on a tatami, or whatever they call it. The Enemy comes out too, growling. But you just stand there, like, you know, all barefoot, red spots on your hands and sniffing from the cold. The Enemy looks at you and all of a sudden becomes nostalgic about his barefoot childhood, remembers his little creek, a small carp he caught, his bobber and his fishing rod. He is crying now. He is not in a fighting mood anymore and goes home. On the way home - just like when he was little - your Enemy buys himself an icecream. Than gets sick from it and dies.

As usual, you win again.

Unfortunately, there are no more Masters of the True Aikido left in this world. They all disappeared somewhere. Sometimes you look at one and think he seems like a Master. But he is not. He failed once, lowered his guard, relaxed, gave into a thought for a second. Now he’s been beaten ridiculed and slighted three times and is laying on the tatami with an axe in his back.

Brokeback Beach

Original ad:
Wanted: ride from philly to rehoboth beach

i am trying to leave any time next friday. i will pay for gas, and provide conversation.i am bringing a large duffel bag and a cat.


From Mike Partlow to ***********@*********.org

Hey,

I have to go to court in Rehoboth next Friday, so I would be able to give you a ride. I just want to know, you're female, right?

Mike

From chris ******** to Me

i am male. what time did you want to leave?
-chris

From Mike Partlow to chris *********

Chris,

I'm sorry, I thought you were female because you said you owned a cat. Sorry, but I don't want to give you a ride. Two dudes in a car, going to Rehoboth, it just seems a little gay. Better luck next time.

Mike

From chris ******** to Me

wtf how is that gay? i just want a ride!

From Mike Partlow to chris *********

Well normally I wouldn't think anything of it, but first off, you own a cat, and you are a dude. That is a huge red flag right there. Any normal straight guy wouldn't own a cat, and if he did, he wouldn't care about the cat enough to take it to the beach. Second, you want to go to Rehomo Beach. I'm not judging your lifestyle or anything man, I just don't want you gaying up my car. No offense. I don't even want to know what is in your duffel bag.

From chris ******** to Me

stfu dude why are you being a prick! im not fucking gay i just cant get a fucking ride to the beach! my GIRLFRIEND happens to have a house in rehoboth!!

From Mike Partlow to chris *********

Yeah, I'm sure he does.

I think Richard Simmons is driving down there next week, try to get a ride with him.

BMW e39

(c) erdoge_an

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If you are normal, you have got to be MAD!