Every day, I come home from work tired. She meets me at the door, sometimes hugs me. I cook for her, buy her treats, and give her time. But as soon as I lie down, she immediately climbs up to me. Sometimes I don't understand what she wants. She can wake up at night and walk around the apartment until the morning. We have been together for almost 9 years and I hope to be with her as long as possible. She calmly lets me go fishing with friends, and in the evening she meets me without reproaches and scandals.

My sweetheart and I have been together for five years now. When she said a few years ago that she was ready for the first time in an intimate way, she asked me to do it while she was out, because she was very afraid of pain. I didn't want to at first, but she said she was very afraid, so I agreed. Situation: she's fast asleep after sleeping pills, and then the key turns in the lock, and suddenly her parents come in, see me naked and their daughter unconscious. The first acquaintance took place, damn it!

My boyfriend can sometimes drink from my glass if he gets another one, and that annoys me. And one day I told him, they say, it's unhygienic, suddenly he'll think about it and won't take any more. And he said, «Honey, I stuck my finger up your ass yesterday and then licked it. What can we talk about at all?» He finished my water with a straight face.

5 years ago, when I was preparing for an external test after 11th grade, my alcoholic neighbors were always noisy. Phrases like «give me my schmalz!!!» were often heard from behind the wall. And «what are you doing? You should have been afraid when we were demolishing the huts!!!» This fucking started at 11 a.m. and ended around five in the morning. Naturally, I couldn't sleep all this time. As a result of a week's lack of sleep, I wrote tests worse than I expected. There was a huge grudge against the neighbors. Before my admission to the military university, I lay and listened to a neighbor fucking a neighbor just behind my wall. Feeling no pity for these degenerates, I lay and listened to her screams and the sounds of banging on the walls. It turned out he was killing her.

Her underground, him in jail. Serves them right.

I graduated this year and my position has a good salary. Now I'm lying here thinking, can I buy out this empty apartment, tear down the wall and live in a 4-room apartment?

My husband had problems with alcohol, and after a long struggle with this problem, he decided to code. Now he doesn't drink. I wish I could live and enjoy it, BUT now we don't have sex. He doesn't have the slightest desire, either mentally or physically; he even lost his morning erection. We live like brother and sister. I am very sad.

My wife doesn't want me and expresses it very harshly.: «I'm not going to suck a dick for 20 minutes so that you poke me with it for 30 seconds.» I've been having problems with potency for the last few years, but what am I going to do? Finger caresses are not interesting to her, cunnilingus always causes some kind of inflammation (in her words), and with toys my participation in the process is very mediocre, and she copes better. She suggests taking pills, but I have concerns that nothing will work out without them later. What the fuck is necessary? We've been together for almost 10 years, at the beginning of our relationship we didn't get out of bed, and now: «No boner, no sex.»

When I was young, I often fapped. I was watching a movie on TV late one night, and my mom went to bed. I thought she was asleep, and I let my hands run wild. Then my mom calls me and asks who is moaning there (and I did it all silently, probably). I said I was laughing like that. And then, to confirm her words, I began to laugh, moaning. I have never seen such a reproach in the eyes of a cat.

My boyfriend is unrealistically dragged when I caress my own breasts with my mouth (fortunately, the size allows). I like it myself, of course, but sometimes that's what our whole foreplay consists of. I do, he looks and faps, and then sex. Somehow the effect is not very good, I'll tell you. I hinted and said bluntly that I didn't mind, but I would like him to participate in the process himself. But that's exactly what he wants, he gets pleasure from it, you see. :(

I'm married for the second time, and the second time I'm fucking wrong in my choice (( well, how come fucking people fuck you wherever they can at the beginning of a relationship, and a year later it turns out he can't do more than 5 minutes, you see, he doesn't need sex at all, but what the fuck should a woman do in such a situation???? If you got her used to it first, and then it turns out you just wanted to make an impression. I never cheated, but now I just dream of finding a good lover, the universe is sending you a request))))!

I went into the hospital bathroom and saw a woman washing her ass in the sink. You can't disentangle what you've seen.

I graduated from the university last year. There was a guy in our group who studied well, mostly closed for 5, but unfortunately did not make it to the red diploma. At the banquet on the occasion of our graduation (where some parents were present, by the way), he drank well and took the microphone to say a farewell speech. At that time, his mother was letting a tear of emotion run down her cheek, which is nothing shameful… So, when he saw her tears, he interrupted his speech with the words: «Mom, stop crying already because of this diploma. Well, blue and blue, fuck it...»

We bought an apartment at auction, which no one had lived in for many years. I had to spend all my savings for this, and also get into debt, but it was a very good option. Sorting through the trash, we found sugar bags in the far corner of the mezzanine, which contained whole bundles of banknotes in denominations of 5, 10 and 20 dollars issued in the 1990s. Only 14,750 dollars. How they were not found before is a mystery. But now there is something to pay off the creditors.

Brother's wife is preparing to run away from the family. I am 100% sure of it. For more than a year, her motto has been: «All life should fit in a suitcase.» She fanatically clutters up, but only in her own things. Tons of toys and children's clothes, brother's trash doesn't touch at all! She has already told her parents and brother many times about her suspicions, they just laugh — she looks like a «successful mother of four angels.» It's clear that this is a mask, and she got fed up with everyday life, groundhog day and wiping bugs. And my brother became openly fat and boring. Who wouldn't howl? It got to the point where she bragged to me that she had finally packed all her things in a suitcase. Apparently, escape is coming soon.

My wife is cheating on me. I'm 100% sure of it, and she doesn't hide it much. Why don't I file for divorce? It's about her father: he's a rich and influential man with connections who once helped me a lot to move forward in my career. I have a great relationship with him, but even before the wedding, he told me: «If you offend my daughter, you will be left penniless, I will contribute to this.» And I don't want to change my lifestyle and social status. I'm ashamed and disgusted with myself, but I know for sure that in the event of a divorce, my father-in-law will do everything to multiply my life by zero, and I can't do anything against it yet.

There are 3 good girlfriends, all mimetic to the limit. They say about such people: «They take a dick in their mouth with a fork.» So, over time, I fucked each of them with special cruelty. And each one said «in secret» that the other 2 couldn't stand me and wouldn't let me touch them. Hypocrisy is such hypocrisy…

When visiting, I can always determine the family atmosphere by the order in the apartment. People are in conflict with each other and with themselves with a kind of old shit: dried food, dust in the corners, some boxes with old shoes, things falling out of an open closet. Neurotics with OCD have perfect cleanliness: not a speck, not a speck of dust, not a hair. The children and the spouse walk along the line, afraid to violate this hospital sterility, because otherwise there will be a lecture or a tantrum. And how easy it is to breathe in a house where healthy people live with normal, adequate relationships. There's no shit, but there's no slickness either. Somewhere there is a mug of unfinished tea, somewhere there are children's shorts, wool in the cat's cot. And people smile at each other.

Not for the sake of shit, but for understanding!

Lovely girls, women, ladies — whatever you like, according to your taste. I've had a question for a long time that no one can really give me an answer to.

Why are you inflating your lips so much? And no, I'm not even talking about the general meaning right now, but specifically about duck whistles. The fashion for such a thing is long gone. And it seems to me that it was purely among escorts of different levels or those who wanted to join them — in fact, for all sorts of daddies who wanted a doll.

But what about now? Someone says, «it's beautiful, I made it for myself.» What's beautiful about an inflated whistle that can't even close? What's so beautiful about this hyaluronic moustache? The fashion for pumping the upper lip on the sides, which in the end not only does not close the mouth, but also looks like a cleft lip — is this really considered beautiful among girls? But it's just the image of a cheap and DUMB prostitute and nothing more.

Yes, there are (and not a few) cases when a really small lip augmentation surgery would be appropriate, so you need to do something with a professional, carefully and so as not to inflate to the state of the queen of the apiary.

I ask you not to aggrandize and not to think that I'm spraying poison right here. No. I really wonder why this is being done, if everyone understands at all that it's not really very pretty. It's even ugly.

Moreover, I would understand if it was done by stereotypical «Cayenne whores», but no! Here I am riding the subway and every time I see a bunch of cute young girls who have ruined their face like this. What for? For whom? It will look even worse with age, it constantly needs to be pumped up, adjusted. Just like that, took it and drew additional expenses until old age. For what? For whom?

I don't understand. Almost no one can give a clear answer to anyone who has asked.

Once again, not negative, out of curiosity.

I'm calling a taxi.

A car arrives. There's a girl driving.

Driving. The music is exceptionally sad. I'm asking:

«I'm sorry, is something wrong?» She:

— Yes, a man left me. He said that it was simply impossible with me. The requests are huge, but the returns are zero.

Me:

— Come on, don't worry. You're so beautiful, I'd love to go out with you, if you don't mind...

She's smiling:

— No, thanks. You're driving in a budget class.

Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm sitting here, not touching anyone. Call.

— Hello!

And from there — «Don't hang up, the operator will answer you in a few minutes.»

Are you fucked in a head?(and I don't even know who is fucked in a head, they didn't introduce themselves). Should I sell something to myself as well?

My boyfriend drinks a lot. And I absolutely don't mind. Moreover, I'm offering it to him myself! Because when he drinks, he fucks me until my knees shake, and then I can barely walk. When we do this when we're sober, he comes fast, and he doesn't have much of a boner… I feel selfish, but damn, how great he does when he's shit faced!

I haven't talked to my beloved godmother for three years because of my move to another city. Recently, she gave me her number through my mom and asked me to send her at least some pictures to see how I've grown up. I accidentally sent a photo with my husband's cock in my mouth. Yeah, I'm grown up alright. I've never been so ashamed.

At the age of 18, I fell for 45-year-olds (but there was no relationships then). At 20, I started dating a 46-year-old man. Then there was a 53-year-old man. My «record» is 60, and I wasn't with any of them for the money, it was all out of sympathy. I have a father. Some of my men were older than him. I can't tell anyone about my personal life, because no one will understand. I'm considered a loner, almost a virgin, and I'm very interested in sex, but… I love it a lot older, it's very exciting, but I don't want to be with my peers at all.

I do not practice anal sex, for me it is taboo, I have never given and will not give my beautiful ass to anyone. For me, the anus is not for entry, but for exit. But on the other hand, when I poop, I get tremendous pleasure.

I had a girl with huge breasts. When we fucked, they slapped each other or me so hard that I could cum just imagining it all. But my girlfriend and I broke up, and after her, I had everything as one, with size number 1. There was zero buzz. The girls are nice, kind, funny, but I stupidly wanted big tits. As a result, now I'm dating a hysterical woman, she drives me crazy, she might freak out over some small thing, but she has huge breasts, and every sex is a blast. I'm even ready to get married, because she hints at a wedding, although I'm not eager to get married. It's so stupid to get married for boobs, but I'm ready, I'm afraid of losing them.

I lost my virginity in a dream. No, I wasn't raped. I just had a vivid porn dream, something went wrong, and I woke up with the best orgasm of my life and a slight feeling that something was «wrong» in my lower abdomen. Three gynecologists didn't have a clue and confirmed the act of defloration. But I miss that dream. After all, I've never experienced such an orgasm again.

I work as a massage therapist (oriental massage), there are cute girls who, by their profession, need to be hurt first so that it will be good later. The most difficult thing is to control yourself when a half–naked girl is lying there, writhing and moaning. And you stroke her head and calm her down. But when you come home, you fuck your beloved as if it were your first and last time. You calm down from strong orgasms for 10 minutes.

I got a job, the team is young people, but I noticed that all the girls are, to put it mildly, «Chubby.» It turned out that the boss pays for lunch every day, provided that she chooses what her subordinates will eat. Naturally, everyone wants freebies, but the boss orders only fast food: burgers, French fries, cocktails with syrup… She doesn't eat, and the employees are slowly getting fat. I don't eat fast food in principle because I have a bad stomach. I was fired soon after, allegedly not suitable for them. And when we met, the boss honestly said that I looked too skinny against the background of her plump girls.

I piss in the bathroom sink sometimes. Somehow my wife find out. Got bitched at for it.

In the evening, the son asks where his toothbrush is, and wife blurted out that she put it in the cabinet because daddy pisses in the sink, and she doesn't want the child to brush his teeth with a piss-spattered brush.

The son looked at me and asked: «Are you sick?»

I stopped pissing in the sink. I can't win back my son's trust, he's afraid that I'm pissing in the kitchen as well, he doesn't put dishes in the sink, and he always washes the clean ones from the shelf himself before use.

Damn wife, couldn't keep her mouth shut.

I walk over to the trash cans. I'm carrying bags of trash in my arms. A homeless man is rummaging through the tanks. Without turning to look at me, he asked mechanically:

«What have you got there?»

– Garbage.

– There's garbage everywhere! — the homeless man said philosophically.

– It's none of your business!

– Oh, oh, oh, how gentle we are! I'll find out in three minutes anyway.

Briefing.

This little story happened years ago, before the “Five Guys” restaurant chain was popular. They were just starting out and hadn’t expanded to every state or city yet.

I was living in Michigan at the time, where there were no Five Guys, so I had never even heard of them. Around that time, I relocated to Ohio for a construction job and was staying at a hotel. Every morning, I’d come home from work and see a very nice-looking receptionist. It didn’t take long before I asked for her phone number, and she agreed.

Long story short, we began texting and what not. After a while of talking, she suddenly texted me: “Have you tried five guys?”

Imagine the shock I was in. I was stunned. Keep in mind, I had never heard of that restaurant. A few things ran through my brain:Why would she ask that? How did I come across as a gay guy? Why five guys?  At the same time? Why not one guy? And if she does think I’m gay, am I so obviously gay that she assumes I’ve tried five guys?It was a very confusing text.

As it turns out, she just wanted to bring me food from there. But the shock of that moment is something I will remember forever.

My wife and I have a mutual «right to left,» in other words, an open marriage. We discussed this a long time ago, and it's acceptable for both of us. Except she's had 10 lovers in that time, and I've only had casual sex once. I'm not jealous and I'm not going to give up a free relationship, but it's a shame that she's able to find partners, and I'm a loser.

Some jerk attacked me, wanted to rape me. He knocked me to the ground, put a knife to my throat, and told me to keep quiet. I froze in horror, and he began to peer into my face. When he took a closer look, his face twisted as if he had smelled shit, and he said, «Oh… I'm sorry,» he released me and left. Mixed feelings.

The wedding is in a week. But my brother couldn't stand it and confessed that once they ordered whores to the bathhouse, and one of them was… My fiancee. I kind of started dating her a month after that, and my brother kind of didn't dare say anything… and then he couldn't keep quiet. What should I do?

I had an affair with a good friend of mine a long time ago. At the same time, she was living with her regular man at the same time, but we didn't really care about that — we were friends, and we had great sex. At one point, she declares that I have a great dick, a wonderful size, and she fucking enjoys giving me a blowjob. Flattered, I wanted more compliments and details. To which she calmly continues: «I love giving blowjobs, but my regular man's dick is very big — it almost doesn't fit in my mouth, and your dick is just right.» I felt ambivalent about her answer.… I still don't know if it was trolling or really a compliment.

Once, at the age of 19, when I was still a virgin, I just jerked off a completely unknown guy. We were on the train, we started talking, and something like this happened. No one had any mental trauma, we were alone in the compartment, and the guy just left. And I, a terrible prude in life, always quite calmly recall this episode: well, I wanted to, well, I jerked him off. And it was really the craziest adventure of my youth, and that's the saddest thing about this secret.

I just heard a wonderful dialogue in the bar:

— Do you have tea?

— Unfortunately, no.

«Then I'll have a beer.»

— We have a delicious Italian non-alcoholic lemonade.

— Well, no, if there is no tea, then beer.