Read Aloud

Why so serious

Pube Stylists

Original ad:
We are a hair styling school that is looking for volunteers to get their hair styled/dyed by our students. We will pay you up to $50. Preferably women/girls

From Mike Anderson to *********@*********.org

Hey! I saw your ad saying you will pay cash to cut my hair! Well I just got my head shaved, but I haven't trimmed my pubes in about five months. They are pretty gnarly, and I jammed my beard trimmer trying to cut them earlier. How much would you pay me to trim my pubes?


From ********* to Mike Anderson


Sorry but we do not trim pubic hair. This is more of a hair dying and styling place.


From Mike Anderson to *********

That works for me too. My pubes are very curly, but I've always wanted to get them straightened. Would you be able to do that? Maybe you could put some highlights in, and just shape up my split ends. Also, do you have some kind of conditioner that would take care of my crabs problem? My prescription ointment doesn't really do the job.

Where are you located? I am free all day tomorrow.

From ********* to Mike Anderson

Mike we work on HEADS ONLY. SORRY.

From Mike Anderson to *********

Here's what I am willing to do. You style my pubes, and I'll accept $40 cash instead of $50. You can even donate my pubes to those people with cancer who need hair, if you want.

From ********* to Mike Anderson

NO. That is disgusting. Leave us alone!

How to carry on a conversation to end it quickly

It happens, it happens to everyone. You will run into a friend who you are not happy to see and do not want to communicate.

And he's like, "Oh, how are you?" And it is clear that he is not in a hurry, ready to chat for a long time. And you just don't care for it. But we are cultural people, we are forced to maintain a fucking dialogue.

No, you can, of course, immediately say that you are in a hurry. But it doesn't always work. You can run into a person in a cafe where you have just started eating soup. He sees you, sits down. Or at the cinema, before the session, and it's not for another twenty minutes, as luck would have it. In short, it is better not to fuss, not to lie.

There are several ways to conduct a conversation in such a way as to quickly end it.

For example, think: “How am I doing? Hm. How long have we not seen each other? Year two? Yeah. Well, let me tell you about myself in detail. Just two years ago, I decided to renovate. I found a team, they come, we first began to discuss what color of the walls in the corridor is better ... "

And then - in the saddest details.

Maybe not about repairs, you can talk about your uncle, also in detail. How he bought the car, it's terribly exciting. Or about dreams. “Oh, here I saw such an amazing dream, very long and complex…”

Not important. The main thing is that the interlocutor realizes that it will be long and tiring. I swear, in three minutes he himself will remember an urgent matter. The maximum is five.

Another option: start saying that there is absolutely no money, and your car needs repairs, you just borrow from various good friends. And look intently into the eyes of the interlocutor, as if evaluating. Runs away in a minute.

In general, whining and complaining is a great way to get rid of anyone. No one wants to listen to this and falsely sympathize.

Well, there is a simple, quick way. At least a little cruel. Exclaim: "God, how bad you look!" or “Hmm, and you are very old.” It does not apply to women, of course. But if a woman says this to a man, he will disappear instantly, to her pleasure.

If you are normal, you have got to be MAD!