1. I wanted to try giving her oral sex while she lay with her head hanging off the edge of the bed. It turned out that unless you’re 25 centimeters long, you just end up smacking her in the forehead with your balls over and over again.

2. I dated a girl who was really into roleplay. She wanted to be a «little girl» and have me be her «daddy.» I just couldn't handle it. It felt way too twisted to me. We were both already in our 30s at the time.

3. Sex against a wall. It’s incredibly uncomfortable, and you’re constantly terrified that the guy is going to drop you.

4. When I was 14, I stuck my dick into a filled pastry—and instantly regretted it. The filling was still hot.

5. Turns out you need to close your eyes before letting a guy cum on your face...

6. I once tried peeing on my wife—with her consent, of course. I’m pretty sure we both regretted it immediately. It wasn't exactly *terrible*, but as soon as it started, we both decided it just wasn't our thing—which made the whole situation pretty awkward.

7. Choking. I like things rough, but I also really like being able to breathe. It was consensual, but I came dangerously close to having a panic attack when I couldn't tell him to stop, and he actually thought I wanted him to squeeze *harder* when I was trying to push his hand away. He apologized profusely for misreading the situation, but it was just a mistake—and now we know that it’s not something I enjoy.

8. Back when I was a kid, I had a thought: «If I could masturbate without actually letting any sperm come out, would it feel even better?» So, I taped up my urethra with duct tape and got to work. Suffice it to say that it was extremely painful, and I’ve been left with lifelong psychological trauma. I do not recommend it.

9. I had sex on the beach once… JUST ONCE. 0/10—never again. In movies, it looks romantic and amazing, but in reality, sand gets literally everywhere.

10. Anal sex is one of my strongest fetishes.

Anal sex is my least favorite way to have sex.

The brain is just this weird, broken thing, I guess.

11. Sex in a pool or bathtub.

12. Vibrators inside you. In porn, this is vastly exaggerated. In reality, I couldn't even tell whether it was turned on or not.

13. Threesomes. For years, I talked about wanting to bring another girl into the bedroom. My husband recently got on board with the idea. We befriended a girl who is single and open to meeting new people—and now I’m terrified.

14. I thought a little light bondage would be fun, but then you miss out on the opportunity to pull hair, scratch, and experience other physical sensations while in the dominant role.

15. I really thought the «69» position would be hot, intimate, and amazing—but then I tried it with a guy I was dating, and it was terrible. It’s hard to get the positioning right, it’s hard to suck a dick while upside down, and I couldn't focus on either giving or receiving pleasure. It turns out I don't like it at all!

16. I’ve always wanted to try anal beads. I knew you were supposed to pull them out slowly, but apparently, my husband didn't quite grasp that concept. So, when he yanked them out as if he were trying to start a chainsaw, I screamed louder than I ever have before.

17. This wasn't really a sexual fantasy or a fetish for mine—it was more out of curiosity. I'm talking about sex during my period. My boyfriend asked if we could give it a try, and I said, «Hell, why not?» There wasn't a huge amount of bleeding, but there was still enough to be pretty gross. After we finished, we both realized that it just wasn't for us, and we’d never do it again.