One day I came to my boyfriend’s place to watch a movie. Nothing foreshadowed trouble, but my intestines suddenly decided to declare jihad on me. I knew that any minute now, the bolts would burst.

What to do?

The bathroom is separate and cannot be disguised by the sound of running water. But even if we manage to carry out the operation silently, what about the smell? Judging by the pressure in the shaft, something hot and fragrant was clearly inside.

Should I suddenly get up and go home? It's a good idea, but I doubt I'll have time: it feels like the head will appear soon.

Think, think. We have no room for error.

I notice chips, nuts and other snacks prepared for watching the movie.

«Chips and no beer?» I ask with a smile on my face and a pain in my ass.

— Damn, I wanted to offer, but I thought you'd take it the wrong way. Let me run out quickly, and you'll pick out a movie in the meantime?

-Great plan! What are you waiting for?

The guy, unsuspecting, goes for a beer run, and I go to the toilet.

Finally, the shipment is shipped, the evidence washed away, the perfume sprayed. The perfect crime. The guy comes back and suddenly starts sniffing the air, looking at me strangely.

Everything inside froze. We were exposed.

-Have you been smoking IQOS here?

Oh, no. He didn't noticed it.

-Um… Well, yeah. I didn't want you to know...

— I have nothing against it. Just go out onto the balcony next time, it smells like shit.

So IQOS and beer unexpectedly saved my reputation.

And I kept iQOS in my bag for a long time afterward. Just in case.