My mother says, «Oh, you've grown up, son, hickeys on your neck, that means you've got a girlfriend.» And I nod, like, yeah, Mom, life's moving on… But I'm burning with shame. Because there's no girlfriend at all. That's not a hickey – it's a bruise. And the story is this: I decided to try to steal money from a gypsy in a wheelchair. Well, I thought, he won't catch me. But that bastard jumped up like Usain Bolt on adrenaline, caught up with me in two jumps and started strangling me as if I had offended his whole family. So yes, the bruise on my neck is not from love, but from gypsy rage...

A doctor colleague told me this story. They brought in a deranged man who, in a fit of rage, cut off his penis. There was a sea of ​​blood, but the doctors performed a miracle and sewed everything back on, better than it was before. So imagine the doctors' surprise when this guy was brought in again soon after, but… This time he cut off and chopped his penis into small pieces, starting from the tip. To make sure they couldn't sew it back on.

My boyfriend likes to put my hair ties on his penis and masturbate with them. He calls it a dedication. Now all my hair ties are «dedicated.» It's funny giving them to my friends when I know where they've been.

I have very few friends. So I hire a prostitute and we have very nice conversations, watch movies… Lately, she's stopped taking payment and we're kind of like friends now.

I put my shoes up for sale. A buyer was found. I thought that the man was probably choosing a gift for his wife. I was happy, rubbing my hands together. But he writes that he won't buy them, but he'll pay me to let him smell them.

I'm sitting here and I don't know how to react to this.

My husband and I went on our honeymoon, spent a fortune on the trip, so we expected the sea, the beach, and some cultural enrichment. In three weeks, we only left the hotel four times. All we got was a lot of sex. We were angry with ourselves, because we could have had sex at home, but we couldn't help ourselves. We promised each other that we wouldn't make the same mistake next time.

Six years ago, when I was studying medicine, several people from my group were sent to America for a few days for practical training. When we left, we thought we'd have a blast after work. From the airport, we were assigned to hospitals in pairs and locked in white basements that looked like a morgue. Every day they brought us 15-20 corpses, and we had to remove epithelial tissue. We slept with them in the room. There wasn't much space, and they were lying under our couches, on top of each other, standing against the wall. At night we would wake up because air was escaping from the bodies, the stench was terrible. We only saw the city through a grate in the wall of the toilet. When we got home, some of us couldn't stop drinking for a month. What a great trip that was.

I sadly remember how a threesome fell through when I was younger. I was staying at my girlfriend's place, she invited her friend over, we had wine, fun music, dancing, and then we were kissing in bed. My head was spinning with excitement and alcohol, I was going to be the hero of a MFF threesome. We were already undressed, warmth on the right – breasts sliding against my shoulder, warmth on the left, two more large ones pressing down on me. I was squeezing them, enjoying myself. And then my girlfriend suddenly snapped and yelled obscenities: «Get away from my man!» – the other girl got offended and left. I was lying there in shock with an erection. Now I have a family, two children. Ah, nostalgia.

Yesterday, my boyfriend and I were having sex, everything was going fine. Moans and groans, then he decided to turn me over, and in the «I'm on my knees» position, he started performing oral sex on me. A minute passed, I felt the amplitude of his movements change, and then he just ran away. It turned out he felt nauseous and ran to the toilet… What a fucked-up situation. First time in my life something like this has happened. I had showered before sex.

I like to masturbate while driving. I get in the car, take off my pants and underwear, step on the gas, and off I go. An incredible adrenaline rush! I feel like Superman!

I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year, and the relationship is losing its spark. To spice things up, we've been practicing anal sex. He took a long time to get inside me, but he finally did. It even felt good afterwards. When he finished and pulled out, I accidentally defecated on him, very liquidy. He immediately ran to the shower, and I went to bed, burning with shame. When he came back into the room, his words killed me even more: «Now that's what I call adding some spice to the relationship!» He promised not to mention it again, but I'm still ASHAMED.

I believe that money should be treated with respect. I collect all the coins I find lying around, I don't even disdain pennies. I believe there's a law of money circulation. Many of my acquaintances don't consider small change as real money, they leave it lying around the house or, if they accidentally drop it, they don't pick it up. And I've noticed one thing: those who have coins scattered all over their apartment because they don't need them, usually experience a lack of money, and vice versa. And my husband and I are quite well-off.

One night, we (me, my friend, and our boyfriends) went to a party at a friend's place. His neighbor, a huge guy, lived in the next room. We all drank together that night, and early in the morning, our friend had to leave. He said, «Sleep well, have breakfast, and then you can go home.» We got up (the neighbor was still asleep), washed all the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, bought food for everyone, and were sitting around cooking while drinking beer. And then, when the chicken in the oven started to brown, this huge jerk came out of his room and told us to get out of the apartment immediately. To our timid objections about the food and beer we had bought, he responded with threats of physical violence. In short, when the guy went to the toilet, we quickly removed the baking sheet with undercooked chicken legs from the oven, took the huge pot of half-cooked rice off the stove, and dumped all the contents into a large bag. Naturally, we also grabbed the beer from the refrigerator, after which we successfully retreated with a hearty laugh.

Happy hangover to you, asshole!))

I haven't had sex in a long time. My husband is far away. I started having erotic dreams. Yesterday I thought I'd come home from work, finish all my chores, and masturbate before bed while watching porn. I remember coming home from work. I remember doing the chores. I even put the vibrator under my pillow before going to bed. And then I lay down, and that was it. I only opened my eyes in the morning. I didn't even have the strength to masturbate. That's awful!

I was walking home when a sports BMW sped past me, driven by a girl. She splashed me from head to toe with mud, and I was already soaking wet. As she was turning out of the courtyard, she slowed down, and I quickly managed to mold a lump of mud and snow and throw it at her driver's door, right at the window. The window was closed. She stopped completely and started getting out of the car, apparently to beat me up, showering me with the worst insults. While she was getting out, I wanted to run away, but since her leg came out first, I managed to notice that she was wearing a fur coat and huge heels. Feeling superior in my comfortable clothes and flat boots, I decided that I would beat her up, and calmly let her get out of the car. She flew at me, and I grabbed her by both shoulders, shoved her into the mess she had spilled on me, and quickly ran into the building entrance, shouting that she was a bitch and a fucking loser! In the end, I was as dirty as a pig, but I was the hero of the day and victorious.

Other Trash Stories