1. I realized this while camping. A girl I was with was afraid to park her car on the grass; she thought the grass would grow, puncture the tires, and cause them to go flat.

2. My husband thought that people whistled when setting off fireworks. He didn't realize the sound was actually produced by the fireworks themselves. Well, it’s a harmless bit of silliness.

3. A girl I dated in college broke my laptop while trying to insert a flash drive into the USB port. The drive wouldn't fit, but instead of flipping it over, she just pushed harder, damaging both the port and the motherboard.

4. I brought home some fresh broccoli, and my husband asked why I’d bought such a huge head instead of the usual, smaller kind. He thought broccoli actually grew as tiny, bite-sized florets.

5. He believed potatoes never went bad; his mom always kept a whole sack in the pantry. I asked if they ate a lot of potatoes, and he said yes. He came from a large family—his parents had six kids—yet the connection still didn't click for him.

6. My husband was convinced that bees and wasps were the same insect, just at different times of the year—that bees turned into wasps over the summer. I love him, but… HOW?

7. A girl I dated claimed that Spain was part of Latin America. When I pointed out that Spain is in Europe, she insisted she was right and even said she was studying Latin America, so I was definitely mistaken.

8. I love my wife, but South Dakota is not located north of North Dakota.

9. My (now ex-) husband genuinely believed that a hysterectomy was the removal of the vagina, not the uterus. He was very puzzled about how women peed after that. During our conversation, it also turned out he thought that after the surgery, everything down there became smooth, like a Barbie doll's.

10. We had a girl at work who kept faxing the same document over and over again. The recipient even called to ask her to stop; she replied that it wasn't working—no matter what she did, the document kept coming back out of the fax machine...

11. My husband stopped by a Dollar General discount store to get toilet paper. We only had fifty dollars left to last us the week. And this man bought forty dollars' worth of mango juice because—wouldn't you know it—it was on sale… But he never actually bought the toilet paper. We drank the juice, of course, but I was furious.

12. I once mentioned that I’d gotten my period, and a guy asked me what my favorite tampon flavor was. He actually thought tampons came in different-colored packages because they had different flavors—that the flavorings would absorb into the bloodstream during use and I’d be able to taste them. I have no idea where he got that idea.

13. After our dog had her puppies, we took her in to be spayed. My boyfriend saw a note in her medical record and got upset: he thought the entry «postpartum period» meant our dog was depressed.

14. My wife often made snide remarks about a man who went through women like socks. One day, we saw him with a child, and she quipped: «I bet he doesn't even know who the mother is.»

15. My partner was grumbling and groaning by the trash can: «We need to buy new trash bags; these ones don't fit at all.» I looked over and saw he was holding a roll of small black dog-waste bags; he’d unrolled one and couldn't figure out why it wouldn't fit. We had regular trash bags, too—he’d just grabbed the wrong ones and was trying every which way to make the tiny bag work, but nothing was happening. And how could it, when the trash can was about fifty times the size of that little bag?

16. We’d only been dating for a couple of months at the time. My husband (then just my boyfriend) was watching me cook. The frying pan was a bit warped and wobbly, so I shoved a plastic spatula underneath to level it out. Yes, right between the pan and the hot stove. Naturally, the spatula started to melt. His first thought was: «I’m dating a total moron.» And I don't blame him. We did get married eventually, but now he’s the only one who cooks.

17. My husband wasn't feeling well and started Googling his symptoms. He was sitting there reading when he suddenly turned to me in horror: «I think I have preeclampsia!» (a pathological condition occurring in the second half of pregnancy).

18. Every time we went out, he’d tell the exact same joke to the exact same people. It hadn't been funny the first time, either.

19. During our first long road trip, my girlfriend (now my wife) and I were driving when I got tired and asked her to switch places with me. She got behind the wheel and said, «Don't worry… but remind me, which pedal is the gas and which is the brake?» I sent her right back to the passenger seat and drove the rest of the way myself.

20. I really love my girlfriend, but… she thought that if she got a tattoo, her baby would be born with the exact same tattoo in the exact same spot...