1. I spent the night at my now-wife's house for the first time. Her house was in the center of a small town. Early the next morning, I had to run to my car to get something. It was a quick trip, so I was only wearing shorts.

When I ran to the car, I heard a strange old man yell, «Who are you? My slutty granddaughter's new boyfriend?» And he laughed so loud the whole neighborhood could hear. I didn't answer. I grabbed the condoms from the car and went back inside. Later I found out it was my girlfriend's mother's father. He was going to Sunday morning service at the church across the street. I never did get along with him.

2. It was the morning after Halloween. I came downstairs from my boyfriend's bedroom in an angel costume with wings. His parents and other relatives were sitting in the living room and applauded me.

3. Waking up with a terrible hangover, I realized I had pooped in this girl's bed. I quickly ran away and never spoke to her again. I was really ashamed.

4. I slept with a guy on Halloween, and the next morning I had to leave his fancy apartment building dressed in a peacock costume with peacock makeup all over my face because I couldn't wash it off with water. I waited for a taxi in the lobby while the doorman and other staff stared at me.

5. I woke up on a dog bed, and I needed to get out of the apartment complex… This was before cell phones had maps. An hour later I got out of the complex and walked home barefoot for another 20 minutes in 3 degrees Celsius weather. When someone stopped to ask if I was okay, I threw up on their car. 6. I had to wait for the Planned Parenthood clinic to open at Starbucks with a girl who, after a Halloween party, was still dressed as a schoolgirl from a local religious school!

7. I woke up in a sorority house with a «friend,» while the other girls were having breakfast downstairs. I didn't know they had a $20 bet on which of the sisters I would sleep with, and they were cheering me on, exchanging money with the winners of the bet, while I was tying my shoelaces and leaving the house… I wasn't even offered breakfast. Not even a bottle of beer.

8. I work as a nurse's assistant, so I have very close contact with my patients. I spent the night at my then-boyfriend's house, and the next morning I couldn't find my bra to go to work. I had to work without a bra. It was very uncomfortable! Everyone was staring at me.

9. One evening in college, my friend and I met a girl and hung out with her all night. On the way back to the room, she was kissing both of us.

All I remember is waking up in the shared bathroom of the dorm, wearing only a coat over my naked body. I went into my room and saw my friend in bed, and she was sleeping on the kitchen floor, wearing my sweatpants. Apparently, also naked underneath.