— This toy store sucks. There’s not even any Xbox games.

— Have you ever heard the story of the rich old man and the stray dog?

— No, sounds crappy.

— There was once a very old man, and one day he came across a stray dog. Well, he decided to take that dog home with him. And that dog went straight to the fire and rolled himself up in an old rug and started chewing on an old bone. Over the years, the old man bought the dog lots of expensive beds, lots of expensive meals, much better than most people get to eat. But that dog always went back to the old rug and that old bone, because he knew that that was all he really needed.

— Now, who do you think you are in this story?

— Let me guess, the rich old man who didn’t know that happiness comes from the simple things in life?

— No, you are the runny shit the dog would take every morning because he had canine colitis from living on the street so long. Now get the fuck out of my store.