It's a friend's birthday. He doesn't drink alcohol. I decided to congratulate him, like, here are some candies to seduce women and condoms to avoid the consequences. At the store, I put a box of candies and condoms at the checkout.

The cashier winked:

— Maybe you'd like some champagne?

I:

— No, thank you, he doesn't drink...

Cashier: 

Why are you sad, my darling? Why are you hurting, my dear? Why are you so downcast again? What are you always—you cunt—unhappy about? Remember all the plush gifts I brought you in bright little bags? Remember how I fed you sushi at the sushi bar? Darling, don't cry! For God's sake, don't cry! That gloomy mug of yours upsets me. I didn't meet anyone else for six months—I was like Santa Claus to you! Didn't we sit at McDonald's? Didn't we go to Coffee House?! I really didn't meet anyone else; I showed up for dates with tulips! And you, you bitch, you ruin these performances with your fucking tears. Darling, don't cry! For God's sake, don't cry! That gloomy mug of yours upsets me. And the weather is sad. Rain is spattering the glass, and your stupid mug is all tear-stained to hell...

© Mikhail Elizarov

I swear, this is upsetting. Why? let me explain. Back in a day, when you wanted to play a game on PC, shit, any game will do. You get a CD or you download the game and that's it, you are ready to play. Old PC no problem.

And now. Downloaded a game Diablo II Resurrected Infernal Edition

And guess what? My computer is not to specs… It's one year old computer. Frustrating that in order to play games on PC now days you have to spend $$$ on upgrades(memory cards, graphic cards, rams and shit).

In reality, you want to play game? Go buy a GAMING PC. 

I gave Scary Movie 6 a shot. Lasted about 15 minutes before I had to kill it. It’s just pure, cringe garbage.

At first, I wondered if I was just getting old—you know, the «old man yelling at clouds» thing. But then I realized I still go back and watch the first four movies all the time. The difference is simple: the old Scary Movie films were built on actual, decent movies.

Back then, the films they were parodying were actually iconic. They were movies people were watching, quoting, and obsessing over. When the source material is good, the satire works because you recognize what they’re making fun of.

But that formula only works if the movies coming out today are worth watching. Since about 2010, the «blockbusters» have been pretty much «swing and a miss», and a lot of them just feel like soulless, corporate woke garbage. If the movie you’re trying to make fun of is already boring or unwatchable, the parody is going to be even worse.

The Scary Movie franchise didn’t lose its touch because the comedy changed; it lost its touch because the movies it’s supposed to be mocking stopped being entertaining. You can’t make good satire out of shit content.

I mean, what the fuck is this annoying, ugly shit??? Maybe you have to be a 𝕏 junkie to know this waste.

Sad thing is bunch of people will get scammed and than cry about it on TV.